I suppose I came up with today's title for a couple of reasons.  One is that I'm currently reading a book called Where Have All the Leaders Gone by Lee Iacocca.  Even though it was published back in 2007 and is about many of the flaws of the Bush administration there are many ideas in it that are probably even more relevant today (in fact, the majority of Mr Iacocca's ideas are now, in all probability, even more relevant when applied to governments all over the world today).  In the book, he talks about the weakness of the Bush administration's habit of avoiding criticism by holding public meetings that were attended only by supporters who were allowed to only ask pre-approved question, of simply ignoring people who asked uncomfortable questions or, even worse, doing whatever it took to "silence" them, as in discredit them however they could, question their loyalty et cetera.  (It should be noted that this post is in no way a political or personal criticism of any former or current US Presidents.  I am simply relaying tactics used by certain persons within one or more administrations to illustrate the point I am trying to make as I go on with this article.)

Another reason I chose the title is because of a discussion I'm involved with in an online forum, although in some ways it's become more of a debate due to a particular issue that's been floating around this particular forum for some weeks now.  I won't identify the forum in order to protect the dignity of others who are involved.  The thing is though, that everytime somebody makes a comment that a certain side disagrees with, one member in particular (I'll try to make that the last time I use that word for at least a couple of paragraphs) gets it into his head to reply.  That's okay, because everyone has the right of reply if they choose to accept it.  Where it becomes a problem is when someone decides that their replies should be glib, dismissive and patronizing at best and progress to being arrogant, disrespectful and even abusive.

Bear with me because I am going to tie these together.

Another example of this is when actress Cate Blanchett's support of the Carbon Tax in Australia had some gaping flaws pointed out in her argument, her response was not to defend the argument or even to plug the wholes in the argument, but to criticize the people who had the audacity to point them out in the first place.

Are you starting to see a theme here?

The point is that there are a lot of people out there who lack the integrity, intelligence and imagination to defend a weak position adequately so they're going to have a pathological need to criticize and insult you in order to do it.  Or worse, to make themselves feel better about themselves as human beings because they're too weak-minded and too faint-hearted to care enough about themselves and those around them to build anybody up.

I have another reason too.  To continue on from my post last week about "Semantics".  In other words, people who are too afraid to be clear and specific in their definitions are going to attack you for having the guts to do it, to set the goal and to go after it.

The bad news is that it doesn't matter where you turn, there are always going to be people like that.  The good news is that it doesn't matter where you turn there are always going to be people who are willing to help you.

But if you're being criticized unfairly, ignore it.  That's the best thing to do.  If you can't ignore it and they've actually made a point, acknowledge the point.  They've saved face and earned themselves a point you've conceded "something" and you've just earned yourself a stack of points in the eyes of others.

Because what you need to understand is that most of the time unfair criticism is coming from someone who's too weak-minded and faint-hearted to defend a position that they know is under threat from what you are saying or doing without even thinking of them.  It really is that simple.



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    G'day everyone.  I'm an Aussie Life Coach, Clinical Hypnotist (www.americanallianceofhypnotists.org)  and author with a passion for making every relationship in our lives the best it can be.   I work at local, state, national and international levels.  I am also a Callahan Techniques Thought Field Therapy practitioner trained by Eugene Piccinotti TFT - dx, and I studied Neuro Linguistic Programming Master Practitioner Level (MNLP) under Steve G Jones at the American University of Neuro-Linguistic Programming
    (http://www.aunlp.org).  In other words, as a coach, I'll use whatever I have to use to help you to make the changes you want to make.