I publish a lot of articles each week about how to fix a broken relationship.  In fact, apart from what I post here, I publish more articles about how to fix a broken relationship than I do anything else.  That's just the way things have turned out for the moment, the way I've set everything up and I'm happy with it.

Anyway, in my offline life, outside of doing the research I need to do, fixing broken relationships is not something I tend to think about a lot, mainly because in my offline life I like to focus on keeping all of my relationships from being broken.  It works great too, for the most part, given that most of the people who are in my offline life are either happy in their relationships or happy in their singularity.

That's why I was so surprised the other day when one of my offline friends, someone who is in a happy relationship, asked me how to fix a broken one.

Okay.  So now I was officially curious.  "Are you planning on doing something that as a friend I really should be advising you against doing?" I asked.  After all, why the hell would somebody in a happy relationship be asking me how to fix a broken relationship?  My friend's response proved to me just how thickheaded I can be sometimes.  He reminded me how a relative (a cousin) of his had just been through a breakup but really wanted to get back together with his ex.

So I told my friend that his cousin needed to get his hands on a really good book that gave him all the relevant information on the best ways and techniques about how to win an ex over and persuade them to come back to you (and that I had just the thing).  "Yeah okay," my friend said, "he'll do that, but how do you really fix it?"

Now I was starting to get confused but I had the seed of an idea forming in my thick Irish-Australian skull.  So at this point, I started to ask some questions and it turned out that my friend's cousin didn't simply want to know the "how to" fix his broken relationship, he wanted to know what he needed to do, or more specifically, what he needed to be.

Among those things, of course, were genuinely sorry for anything he did to contribute to the breakup and show contrition, and still be loving and supportive.  But what else did he need to be?

You guessed it.  He needed to be self-confident in order to have any chance at all of fixing his broken relationship.  Why does he need to be self-confident? my friend asked.  He needs to be self-confident because the only way people respond positively to other people is when those other people are self-confident because when you are self-confident you're actually thinking more about what you can do for someone else than you are about what you can do for yourself.

But what if he's not a self-confident type of person?  I told my friend to tell his cousin to come and talk with me because he was in luck that I could steer him on to something that could help him. 

But yes, the one critical thing you need to fix a broken relationship successfully, or do anything successfully, apart from knowledge, is self-confidence.  Then again, self-confidence could be labled self-knowledge.

Have a great day everyone.
7/13/2012 09:55:22

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    G'day everyone.  I'm an Aussie Life Coach, Clinical Hypnotist (www.americanallianceofhypnotists.org)  and author with a passion for making every relationship in our lives the best it can be.   I work at local, state, national and international levels.  I am also a Callahan Techniques Thought Field Therapy practitioner trained by Eugene Piccinotti TFT - dx, and I studied Neuro Linguistic Programming Master Practitioner Level (MNLP) under Steve G Jones at the American University of Neuro-Linguistic Programming
    (http://www.aunlp.org).  In other words, as a coach, I'll use whatever I have to use to help you to make the changes you want to make.