Yesterday, while discussing how we have differences in perspective that are interpreted by our life-perception filters, I gave the example arrogance and cynicism as perceptual filters.  They were valid examples, as has been evidenced by the feedback I've received, but I've had a couple of people ask an interesting question.

What, then, is the difference between a cynic and a hard@$$?

The answer to that is actually very simple.  The cynic is a blowhard.  The cynic will tell you all about the way the world is without giving any corroberating evidence and from an experience base that can be described as limited at its absolute best and most comprehensive.

The cynic is also a coward who feels the need to verbally attack everything that involves any type of personal risk.  In order to maintain their psychological position of undeserved superiority they will put someone down with the only motivation being to feel better about themselves.  When confronted with evidence that their position is just plain wrong and even untenable, they will either shut you out of their life or simply reject your proof out of sheer stubbornness and fear of being wrong.  Cynics are so afraid of doing something wrong, that they tend to never do anything of value at all.

But a really fun fact about cynics is that they are quite often religious.  These are the people who will tell you that if you're struggling or suffering then it's God's will.  As if you don't have any choice in the matter at all.  I don't care if I'm disappointing them here, but you do have a choice.

And if they want to threaten me with my going to Hell?

Let them.  That's a weakinded fool's threat that doesn't scare me.  I've already been.

So what about the hard@$$ then?  This reminds me of a quote by Stuart Wilde, my favourite philosopher.

He once said, "Psychic self-defence is for wimps.  Because is someone really wants to get you, they'll find a way."

In other words the hard@$$ doesn't need it.  But for the reason that he knows the minute he starts thinking that he needs it, he's going to start needing it.

But the other thing about the hard@$$ is that you rarely hear them speak the way a cynic does.  Because he, or indeed, she, is not a cynic.  They don't verbally attack out of fear and they rarely verbally attack at all.  They're often the quiet ones in the group, and if you do hear them attack, it's usually to shut the cynic up.

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    G'day everyone.  I'm an Aussie Life Coach, Clinical Hypnotist (  and author with a passion for making every relationship in our lives the best it can be.   I work at local, state, national and international levels.  I am also a Callahan Techniques Thought Field Therapy practitioner trained by Eugene Piccinotti TFT - dx, and I studied Neuro Linguistic Programming Master Practitioner Level (MNLP) under Steve G Jones at the American University of Neuro-Linguistic Programming
    (  In other words, as a coach, I'll use whatever I have to use to help you to make the changes you want to make.