And with that headline I've just told the world I'm a massive Star Trek geek.  It's okay though, I'm fine with it.  I love Star Wars too.  But I picked the headline for an important reason.  A very important one.

Have you ever noticed that when you set yourself a goal, and you start making some real progress toward it, you encounter at some point some pretty massive resistance?  Now, here's the important question.  I know a lot of the resistance you'll encounter will be from family and friends, even colleagues too.  But have you ever noticed that the harshest resistance you encounter is from yourself?

Why do you think that is? 

Part of it is definitely because we're stepping out of our comfort zones and that scares the crap out of our egos.  Look, the ego isn't all bad.  In fact, it's got a very important job.  That job is to protect us and it does a wonderful job for the most part in making sure we don't get eaten by a dinosaur.

The rest of the time that fear holds us back.  That's when we need to work on ourselves and do stuff like building our confidence.  The fact is that we need to stop focusing on our "problems" because the other side of this fact is that we have enough people in our lives who are totally willing to do that for us.

But don't be fooled by these bystanders.  That's all they are for one thing.  But remember that they're only spectators in the game of your life.  They don't get a say in it.  And as rational as their opinions sound, they're coming entirely from emotion, entirely from ego and it's entirely fear based, and you have enough of that crap inside your own head to deal with.  You don't need theirs.

So what's the effect of this resistance on you?  Stress.

Yep.

Sweating, nausea, lack of sleep, fatigue...

So how do you deal with it?  You've got to take the emotion out of it.  The best way to do that is to stop where you are and just focus on what you're doing in the moment.  It's not denying the negatives that are going on, it's forcing you to be present and deal with what you can actually deal with.

In a related, if slightly off-track thought for a moment.  John Assaraf published a post the other day about a study he'd seen.  In the study, it was found that the effect of a negative thought on your brain was immediate and profound, and, frighteningly, permanent.  A positive thought had almost no effect... unless thought over and over and over, over a long period of time.

The point isn't to say that remaining positive is hopeless or impossible.  The point is to acknowledge that for some of us it's harder than others, and why that is so.

So keep going and push through that resistance.
3/20/2012 14:11:53

It does seem like when we have goals to meet that we do meet up with some sort of resistance. I used to despise making goals, but that is because I saw goals as something with a deadline like a school project. Today, my goals are something that I enjoy making & reaching. By setting and making my goals, I feel like I am making progress, am more successful and a better person having done something I put my mind to. Reaching my goals, though is not always easy……the resistance you talk about! I find that I am more productive and successful with a support system, meaning an accountability partner and when I celebrate in some way when I reach my goals. Celebrating can be just a simple shout of Woo Hoo, but it also helps to make it fun! I enjoyed the post -

Jodene

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10/16/2013 00:26:44

I enjoyed reading your blog, thank you.

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    G'day everyone.  I'm an Aussie Life Coach, Clinical Hypnotist (www.americanallianceofhypnotists.org)  and author with a passion for making every relationship in our lives the best it can be.   I work at local, state, national and international levels.  I am also a Callahan Techniques Thought Field Therapy practitioner trained by Eugene Piccinotti TFT - dx, and I studied Neuro Linguistic Programming Master Practitioner Level (MNLP) under Steve G Jones at the American University of Neuro-Linguistic Programming
    (http://www.aunlp.org).  In other words, as a coach, I'll use whatever I have to use to help you to make the changes you want to make.