There are just certain types of people that annoy us.  You may even have one or 79 of them in your life right now.  The sort of people who have an overinflated sense of their own importance.  The people who honestly believe that you need their approval, or that you need to justify whatever it is that you do, to them.

Well, I'm not going to play Mr Nice Guy here, and I'm not going to wrap it up into politically correct terms or play social niceties.  They don't deserve it and I really want your attention.

Tell them, in no uncertain terms, to walk on a compass heading that takes them in the direction of the nearest large body of water and to keep going until their hat floats.  Seriously.

To put it simply, you don't need their crap and they don't deserve your time.  They also don't deserve having you elevate them to a level beyond you when they are neither doing any of the heavy lifting nor, as is the likelihood that they really don't know you well enough to have earned you idolization of them or have they been through enough with you to warrant it.

Here's an example.

A few weeks ago I was approached by the owner of a gym.  In his words, he wanted me to coach some of his clients to lose weight (as a regular reader, you'll know that's a term I rarely if ever use).

When we sat down to discuss the agenda, it came to light very quickly that he expected me to justify everything I did to him and that I had to seek his approval.  Believe it or not, I actually bought into it.

In short order he was demanding I take an arduous fitness test to prove myself to him.  I explained how much weight I'd shed over the last year and how busy I was, but he wasn't having any of it, and I kept trying to find ways to justify myself to him and he just kept saying that he'd see me the next day at noon for this test.

Then he started in on my fees.  He decided that because I'm not famous he wouldn't pay me that much because I couldn't be worth it if he hadn't heard of me.  That's when I realized what was going on. 

And I told him so.

I informed him that while I was okay with my current level of fitness as it gives me a basic level of functional fitness for my day to day life, I would be happy to take his test.  But he had to pay me for two hours of my time, pluse pay the cancellation fee of the client whose session  I would have to cancel, and compensate my client for having their session cancelled.

He was outraged.

How dare I, someone who he'd never heard of before, demand that kind of money from him or put those kind of conditions on him.

As I then pointed out, before he contacted me for an appointment, I'd never heard of him either, and he seemed to have no issues about putting outrageous conditions on me.  Given the level of exchange, I thought I was being pretty reasonable.

He then informed me in no uncertain terms that unless I submitted to the fitness test and dropped my fees considerably he wouldn't hire me.  I informed him that if that was the case then perhaps it would be for the best if we concluded our appointment then and there and wished him luck in finding a life coach to work with.

In other words, I didn't get the job.  True, it may cost me several thousand dollars in lost revenue over the course of a year or two, but I'm okay with it.  Dealing with guys like that just isn't worth it, and for that I'm grateful because I reckon I'm probably saving about as much money in stress related medical bills.



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    Author

    G'day everyone.  I'm an Aussie Life Coach, Clinical Hypnotist (www.americanallianceofhypnotists.org)  and author with a passion for making every relationship in our lives the best it can be.   I work at local, state, national and international levels.  I am also a Callahan Techniques Thought Field Therapy practitioner trained by Eugene Piccinotti TFT - dx, and I studied Neuro Linguistic Programming Master Practitioner Level (MNLP) under Steve G Jones at the American University of Neuro-Linguistic Programming
    (http://www.aunlp.org).  In other words, as a coach, I'll use whatever I have to use to help you to make the changes you want to make.