It doesn’t matter which way you look at it but when you’ve been through a breakup you’re going to have to deal with it, and I’m sorry to say, that’s just going to make it hurt even more.  A lot of people are under the mistaken assumption that they’ll be over it all in a couple of days only to find that they’re still carrying a torch for their ex while they’re grieving at the loss of their relationship.  At least, that’s how they’re viewing it anyway.  When it comes to dealing with a broken relationship, even if it seems impossible for the time being, it’s important that you find a way to look past the pain and survive it.  It is hard, but it can be done.

A lot of people get put through a lot of fear and misery by a breakup.  And the sad fact is that there are some people out there who have no one else in the world to turn to in times of need and, as a result, they suffer inordinately more than they need to from the heartbreak in the first place.  While dealing with the pain of your breakup may seem impossible for you to do, take a moment to consider all the people in the world who’ve had to deal with the pain of lost love in their lives and went on to survive and talk about it (next you’ll tell me you’re not like them.  That’s okay, because they weren’t like them at first either).  The pain feels crippling at first, but you too will be able to get over it in time, but only if you’re willing to have the courage to deal with that pain as quickly as you can in the right way, the healthy way.

So why is the pain of dealing with a breakup so difficult?  That’s because when you’ve had this kind of trauma inflicted on you (and that’s what it essentially boils down to), the selfish part of your mind, the id (usually mistakenly referred to as the ego) takes over and all of a sudden it feels to you like you’re the only person in the world who’s ever had to suffer through this type of indignity.  The important thing to do now is to continue trying to heal instead of allowing yourself to give up and take no responsibility for sorting out the situation.  Dwelling on how painful splitting from your partner won’t help you.  Instead you need to focus and work on feeling better and moving on, which means that eventually you won’t have to deal with the breakup pain anymore because you’ll have moved on.  When you’ve moved on you can start dealing with the new you and maybe even finding a new someone else too, someone with whom you share a much better dynamic.

Allow yourself to spend time with your friends and, even better, let help you to get your mind off your trouble.

The other thing is, not to dwell on the bad feelings.  I know it’s easier said than done, but if you focus on the good parts of your life in order to promote the mending of your broken heart then that is what eventually will happen.

At times like these, your friends will likely realise that what your going through is serious and, most likely, lend you the support you need to get through it.  If this is the case, don’t push them away.  The reason is because going out and spending time with them can prove to be incredibly helpful when dealing with this type of situation.  Everyone goes through dealing with a breakup because everyone goes through a breakup.  Instead of letting yourself suffer through the breakup, push yourself to find the strength to find joy again so that it can help you work on healing yourself.  Don’t let the stress overwhelm you or drag you into a depression.  Accept the help that is around you.  Good luck.

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    G'day everyone.  I'm an Aussie Life Coach, Clinical Hypnotist (  and author with a passion for making every relationship in our lives the best it can be.   I work at local, state, national and international levels.  I am also a Callahan Techniques Thought Field Therapy practitioner trained by Eugene Piccinotti TFT - dx, and I studied Neuro Linguistic Programming Master Practitioner Level (MNLP) under Steve G Jones at the American University of Neuro-Linguistic Programming
    (  In other words, as a coach, I'll use whatever I have to use to help you to make the changes you want to make.