Well here in Melbourne, in the wide brown land of Oz, we're Tuesday, the day after the Queen's Birthday long weekend and as we discovered yesterday, winter is finally here.  Temperatures are very cold indeed.  My hands have been fine all morning, right up until about a minute ago when I started typing.  I don't know why, but for some reason typing is just the natural enemy of warmth in my hands.

Anyway, despite mentioning the fact that it was Lizzie's birthday (official celebration) and there was a a big, bonza shindig at Buck House, especially because Phil the Greek got to come home from the hospital, I'm not going to be using today's post to call for the replacement of the monarchy with a republic.  In fact, I'm avoiding politics altogether today.

But I do want to discuss a subject that I think does need to be talked about.

And that's the subject of change.

In order for us to move forward in our lives and be successful at anything, change simply has to happen.  There's no two ways about it.  Change comes in varying types and degrees.  One form of change is learning.  Because once you put something into a mind, you can't take it out.

And despite the fact that I often display typical male resistance to change, I really don't have anything against it.


Until when?

Until people start making changes just for the sake of making changes.  I'm not talking about having a macchiato instead of a latte, or trying a different route to work, or deciding on a personal image change or even picking a different holiday destination.

No, I'm talking about service providers (including business and government and interpersonal) deciding that things need to be changed just for the sake of being changed.  Often the excuse given is to make improvements to the way things work.  But the issue is that if things are working fine the way they are, why do they need to be improved?

In a situation like that, there is an old saying that covers the circumstance perfectly.  The saying goes, "If it ain't broke, don't fix it."

The reason why changes tend to happen in circumstances like these is not because of the reasons that are typically given.  The real reason it's done is entirely about gaining or maintaining control.  And it's done in interpersonal relationships as often as it is in business and government.

Think about the last time your spouse/partner decided to change around the house.  Typically, each partner has some space either in or around the house that is their own as well as the common areas of the house that are shared by both in conjunction with any other family members. 

So think about the last time your spouse decided that something about your part of the house needed changing. 

Without telling you. 

And changed it. 

And you didn't discover the change until after it had been made.

And when you asked them why they changed it they told you it was to improve the area or to make things easier.

And who are they making it easier for?

I'm not saying this to start a fight.  It's just what I've worked out from my own personal experience.  If that offends someone, that wasn't my intention but it was your reaction.  Deal with it.

When change happens in this way it's not about improvement.  It's about someone gaining and maintaining control.  It's about someone keeping someone else off balance.

Business does it.

Governments do it.

Spouses do it.

The difference is that with a spouse, you can identify it, call it and that can help to modify it.  And the great thing is that if needed, your spouse can do it to you too.

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    G'day everyone.  I'm an Aussie Life Coach, Clinical Hypnotist (www.americanallianceofhypnotists.org)  and author with a passion for making every relationship in our lives the best it can be.   I work at local, state, national and international levels.  I am also a Callahan Techniques Thought Field Therapy practitioner trained by Eugene Piccinotti TFT - dx, and I studied Neuro Linguistic Programming Master Practitioner Level (MNLP) under Steve G Jones at the American University of Neuro-Linguistic Programming
    (http://www.aunlp.org).  In other words, as a coach, I'll use whatever I have to use to help you to make the changes you want to make.